Evelyn: Don't worry about 'why' when 'what' is right in front of you. (The Shape of Things)
Showing posts with label The Beggar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Beggar. Show all posts

Monday, May 22, 2006

[The beggar] Behind the scenes

Part one
Part two
Part three
Part four
Part five
Part six
Behind the scenes!


A few readers asked for clarifications, and details about "The beggar", so I thought you might want to know more about this story, including interesting facts about how I came to write it.

Outline of the epic line and additional info:
The prologue is temporally equivalent to the epilogue.
Prologue & epilogue:
Susan enters her father's room but doesn't know it at first. The reader learns only that she (not impersonated until the epilogue) has decided to buy the room, and has found a notebook. The notebook proves to be her own, written while she was raised by her idealistic parents (who believe love is the most important part of our lives) and lost during her desperate wandering.
Plot: She eventually ends up on a bench, exhausted and suffering, and the next morning Andrew finds her.
I wont reenter their parents' lives and stories, but the main point is that of love, life and communication: Susan is a special person, mainly due to the love of her parents, while Andrew and his father are somehow strangers. Meanwhile, the life of a beggar emerges...
Ending: Andrew and Susan fall in love and live together, finally getting married. The surprise, revealed in the epilogue is that they have lived next to her father for ten years and weren't aware of it. The ending illustrates the artistic behavior of love, and the world of a "beggar".

Extra facts:
When she becomes eighteen, her parents explain that Susan is now capable of watching out for herself, so she somehow understood the accident, and she thought they might have sacrificed their lives for somebody.
Although the summary may be simple and easy to comprehend, the "inside" of people's hearts and minds never is. Think of that when you ponder about yourself and others: you have to see it every way to get it right... and there's always a way you don't see (but at least you get pretty close to the real thing!).

The accident: Turns out that her father DID survive the accident. Her mother saved Andrew's father's life, and got stuck under a vehicle and killed. So, not knowing that her dad lived, Susan does not return home, and her father has no way of finding her.

The idealism of characters: Sometimes, when people abandon a sad life, and endure into a happy one, they tend to run away from their sufferince. Susan and Andrew have a magical way of communicating which puts every feeling of despair second, making them seem less desperate at the loss of each one's father.

Fun facts:
The title of the story, and the idea of the beggar himself was inspired by a real fact I have witnessed: a poor man wishing to sell a cheap watch for money to the tram driver, who invited him to his tram cabin for a chat that lasted... more than just a few stops (I got off before the beggar did).

The actual epic of the story I developed along the way, and I confess that the other five characters (Susan and her mom, Andrew and his dad and sister) were not known until mentioned.

I'm most fascinated by the beggar's life and his room, and his interpretation of life and the many paintings of his daughter, but Andrew and Susan will remain as the first love couple I thought of placing in a story.

At one point I had thought of including two other (real) facts:
- One time, the tram I took was being checked by the ticket collector (I don't ever have a ticket and there's a big fine for that) and he checked other people for tickets, but not me - how lucky! I was scared and took the next tram from the first stop. But, unluckily, that had 3 other ticket collectors in it - oops. As the doors was closing, some guy (accompanied by his girlfriend) yelled out, right in front of the door: "Who's got no ticket better get off now!"... and I did, at the last moment, because I didn't see them myself.
- One day I went to my driving lessons by tram, and returned 2 hours later with the same tram, and I had that strange sense of deja vu, realized along the way, not when I got in... The tram was driven by an old lady, and had particular signs and posters, compared to other trams.

Hope you've enjoyed this "Behind the scenes"!

Sink into it! (expand)

Sunday, May 21, 2006

[The beggar] Part six (and final)

Part one
Part two
Part three
Part four
Part five
Part six
Behind the scenes!
---
* * * Part six * * *

'<<... and I want you to know that I've saved some things for you. I know I haven't been the best father in the world, nor such a pleasant company. But I have always been proud of you and Lilith. I love you both more than anything. No matter what I did, our lives went on, and you were always growing up, better, stronger, ready for life. How can a father not be proud of his children? I haven't told you much about me, and you don't know why I couldn't get over your mother. And even now, I don't know either. My last words for you are these: Love, dream and live.>>', she paused reading and sighed.
'I think he meant them in that order, Andrew. I've always thought when people write their last words, each letter is an enormous part of their heart. It's like... they set their life on paper, for one final time, you know what I mean? Andrew?'
There were tears in his eyes. He was not sad, nor did he regret the life he had enjoyed so far. The tears were not his, they were his father's.
'The world is a projection of your minds, isn't that true?' he told Susan
'It really is.' There was not much to be said, she thought.
'I love you', Susan leaned toward him, 'You're always here for me, I'm always here for you - we don't need each other, but we are a part of each other. Just as your father is a part of you. He'll always be, really. Are you sad?'
'No, no I'm not. How strange that you only know a person by what you experience, isn't it? You always think you know because it's there, but, in fact, nothing's there. It's just you, and the world. And the world is in you', he wiped his few tears. 'I was gonna meet him tomorrow. I'm not even asking myself why he didn't tell me he was dying - it's his way of being.' he said.
'What's a man's life, really? We are all here, in this world. Everyone has his/her own piece of it, and everyone things that's the real thing. You know what the real thing is? The real thing is that it is. There's nothing more to it. My world can be a sphere, yours maybe a prism, Lilith's - a spire; some can even be shapeless. Everything's possible. We know many but understand little. We want to understand what we already know, but there's always something we think we don't know that keeps us from understanding. Susan, what are people in search for?'
Susan could feel everbody. Ever since she was a child, she loved to put herself in other people's shoes. She wanted to feel more, understand more. She wondered how it is like to be someone else - would that person feel the same as she did? What would her mind and heart be like in another body? Or perhaps just the heart.
'I imagine they wake up into the life they've got. A few moments pass, and the feeling of something missing arises: And some don't even ask themselves these questions. Life - what is life? Life is less than nothing, and more than everything. We are advised to listen to our hearts, but what we aren't told is how to do it', Susan loved these long talks with her husband.
'And the way to do it is in you. The modern man feels he is lost because he's not aware of his being. We are human beings, aren't we? We are born with instincts and not thoughts. Our world comes from nothing, but is everything. What we are in search for is only the most basic feeling in the human being - happiness. There are a million ways to look at the world. And, sometimes, only one of these ways brings happiness. But it is not that far. Actually, all paths lead to the same feeling. Some are just too bumpy to see the end... '
'What are we, more than animals? We are survivors. The key to happiness is you. It's that simple. We are born a way, but alter ourselves so much from that day, that we find a lot of questions with very few answers. But the answer is found at the beginning (what answer isn't?). We are alive. Somehow, maybe for one man in a billion, that is enough a reason to be happy. Isn't that amazing?', Susan's eyes were shining.

Their life together has been a dream. The love they shared brought them upwards. However high they were, the didn't move from that apartment. The world changed, and they changed with it. But, somehow, they remained the same. Andrew was amazed. He was always fascinated by the way the world exists. For every action, there was a reaction, cause and effect, time and space - those were all just a few pictures of it. He understood that, in order to do something for certain, you have to understand or feel what it is. And for that to happen, you had to assign a shape to it, somehow... everything's about perception, in a way. Perception is about everything. Happiness... the same. He noticed that for something to be meaningful, it had to neglect every other point of view, and react on one of them. But insight into a world meant insight into every other, because the same truth was present everywhere.

They married a few years after he moved in. Lilith bought the place next door, and let them live in this one - 'for memories' sake', she said. They lived at the ground floor: two apartments and the former janitor's room, now a small place where a poor man lead his life. Susan still didn't know how come they connected that well, but she guessed they were just waiting for each other - like everyone's waiting for something. Susan was twenty-eight, and she was pregnant with their first child. She was happy, they both were. Life had been generous: Susan and Andrew had interesting jobs - she was a painter and he was a teacher, both successful due to their devotion to the art of it.

'How did we get so lucky, Andrew?'
'There's just something... in this world, for every single person. And when you find it, you know; because it clicks, it trembles, it sings - like a chord, maybe. Like a drop of water in the ocean, you can't even realize it's different, but the feeling of it remains forever', he said.
'Imagine how it must be to be the ocean... a new passion every moment, a new drop of water.' Susan said
'I love you too, Susan.' They were used to late replies. Like the brain knows when it's forgot something, but not what that something is, inner traveling is also a natural course for human beings.

The accident was left behind, it was ten years ago. That month after the accident, Andrew moved with her, and they spent all their spare time talking. She didn't know much about the accident, but the questions were always fading when he was around. He felt lonely and lost, but never when she was next to him. They vowed to live together, and naturally fell in love.

'Yes, it was a dream. It is!', Andrew thought.
'You wanna go see what your dad left?'
'Sure', he said.

After an hour, Susan and Andrew arrived. They went in and found the place almost empty. There was a note on the table.
'I know this will make you smile.
Check the closet.
Love,
Dad', Andrew read.

'He left me a fishing rod! Made by himself. A handmade fishing rod!' Andrew repeated, his smile was wide and honest. 'Maybe he wants me to understand his passion for fishing. But I did, already, from his letter. Love, dream, live - that's how he could do it all. Love me, dream mom, and live eating fish, hehe. And I've always misjudged fishing as his passion only, how silly of me!'
'We live to be remembered, I guess', Susan thought about her dad. It's been long since the last time she thought about him. She wished she knew more, but there was nothing more to do...
---

Epilogue
We returned home. The police was in front of the small janitor's place. It seems he had died yesterday, and I was invited to take a look, and take anything, if I wish to. He had no living relatives.
I went inside, while Andrew left his new handmade fishing rod at home. I saw a notebook, and headed for it; right when I turned around, I saw something that blew my mind off.
It was me: my face was painted on every wall of the room, in indefinite circumstances. There was something familiar about those paintings, they made sense in the order they were painted. Who lived here?
I stared at the cover of the notebook: 'A life of a teenager', by Susan! This was the notebook I had lost when I ran from that accident.
I opened the notebook, and read...
---
The final passage of the notebook said:
<<...Somehow, I see it in every human being. I walk the streets, and see people like her everywhere - everyone has it's path, and every path has it's shape. Any shape. Love is the sun, and we are the world. And as the sun spins upwards, the world circles around it. Is it in search for something, like we are? No. But it is spinning, amazingly quick, and seems unstable, as a life of a teenager; in fact, that life is the most certain life we will ever have. What is the sun heading for? Nowhere, he's circling around the galaxy, and the galaxy around the universe, and the universe... God is the center of everything. Love circles around God, and although human life seems to be circling too, it is not. Life is not like an orbit - it is like the line of a tram, or a roller coaster: it has its bumps, it has the same basic path for everyone, but what's around it when you pass by is always different. What remains is what lasts, the line itself - love, and what changes is the driver and the tram - life, and the person who benefits of it.>>
I read it all. Half of it was my own writing, the other half - my father's. He lived here for ten years, and I didn't know: Oh, sweet ignorance! He wrote he can't paint anything else but his daughter's face. But the paintings show me like I am right now, not like I was when I was young!, I told Andrew.
'No. You haven't changed much, but you look like you were back then; I remember you very well. Are you alright?'
I don't know. It's amazing. He paints every feeling I ever had, and so well... Look, here I have that "I lost my dollie" face, and here I'm telling him I love him, and here...

From birth to 18 years, everything I have felt lies in this room, in these paintings. I am living in my father's ten year life with ... me. You know, somehow, things in this world have always happened similarly to us. Our parents are full of surprises, aren't they?
'Yes, I can't believe it! Look, he even left a note, I think.'
I was so shocked, I asked him to read it to me...
'I am thought of as a poor beggar, but there's a "beggar" in all of us, just like there's a Susan in there, too'.

Love is the sun, and we are the world... My mind was looking for the sense of it all, but that was just a point of view. From another perspective, it already made perfect sense.


What do you think about this part of [The beggar]?
Love it, made me curious!
I'll probably wanna see what happens next.
I think you were too succint, the story seems rushed.
Vaguely interesting.
You haven't made me curious at all!
It's kind of silly. I don't like it...
A different answer: good opinion.
A different answer: bad opinion.
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Sink into it! (expand)

Monday, May 15, 2006

[The beggar] Part five

Part one
Part two
Part three
Part four
Part five
Part six
Behind the scenes!
---
* * * Part five * * *

He hadn't felt this lonely since he was eighteen. But why? What had happened? And what was the point of his wife's death, and his daughter being lost? He could not submit to all this, he did not wish to run away. His life so far had been such a blessing!
Every day, he sat around, thinking about his life. And during this, he was dreaming. He dreamt a lot - and, after all, what helps you dream more than love? He loved his wife and daughter.
'At least I should be happy I survived', he thought. His name was Thomas, but he was used to being called Tom.
Tom lived alone now, in a flat. It wasn't much of a living, actually, and he spent more time away than at home. His place had only one room and a small bathroom. He mostly spends his time out in the city - doing only he knows what. His neighbors don't know much about him. Thinking about this, he realized how much has changed since the accident: his whole life, apparently.
It took some time for the tragedy to sink in, but, eventually, he began to take walks, and think, and dream - like he used to, only now he was alone. He enjoyed thinking about the past; but, after some time, he felt it was wrong: Tom wanted to move on. He wished he could find a purpose for his leaving again. Why couldn't it be love?
'It's too painful to go back to my spiritual life. I can't face it, I'll never be as honest and calm as I was.' He could feel his heart wasn't beating as slowly and imperceptibly as it did in his happy, fullfilling past. Somehow, he still wished to be of use. And he wanted his use to express his inner self.
So he traveled much of his time. During days, or nights, Thomas wandered around the city looking for something - even he didn't know what that was. But during those times, he felt the city's heartbeat, and the hundreds of thousands (even millions) of human beings walking its paths. It was forever alive, never dead. How could he not survive? Life was all around him.
'To be fair, it's not the kind of life I'm interested in, but perhaps I can be.'
So he tried. He spent weeks around the city without coming back home, looking at people, trying to see what life is all about. Maybe this way he could understand more; and he was in no rush - Tom had nothing to lose. Nothing but his life.
After a while he enjoyed this traveling, and he thought he could show the world what he sees. He could show them the real city. But how? He couldn't be happy ever again, and that's how it felt.
'So, how about expressing it indirectly', he thought.
It was worth a chance, and Tom decided to be an artist. He did not wish to be succesful, he wished to see the world in his work, and maybe others could see it too!

So he began. Wandering the streets, in search for nothing but himself. The city was an infinite source.
Somehow, he didn't know why, he always returned home by tram. He enjoyed the ride, and tram drivers were much more pleasant than any others. They were quiet people, relaxed, kind, and willing to talk to him. In doing this, he became friends with many, many people. Always, when a tram passed by him, the driver said 'hi', or 'hello', or 'good day', and he replied. On the road back, he showed them his work, and each of them had a different opinion from the others, and always encouraged him. He started to know a little bit about the lives of all of them, but one had it quite similar to his own.
His name was Bernard, but everyone called him Ben. He had two children - a boy and a girl, both had moved away some time ago, and he had lost his wife too, long before Tom did. They got along really well, and Tom saw that his presence always lifted Bernard's mood. He looked better then the day they had met.
'At first, I had thought you were a beggar', Ben confessed.
'I was a tram driver myself. But I'm not surprised that you thought so, honestly. I haven't worn different clothes since I lost my wife. I'm raising money to buy some, soon.'
Tom was poor. He had lost his job the day after the accident - he was so desperate he couldn't go to work. He was depressed. God only knows how many days passed until he could come back to his senses. Now he raised money by selling some of his work cheaply. It seems he had a gift for it, because people usually asked him for orders. He did decoratives to sell - all sorts of objects, and, of course, he could do something they asked for. But only if it didn't take much time. He was devoted to art, and he did not want to be paid for specific things. He wanted to work freely, like any artist would. And he didn't charge much: only as much as he needed to make a living.

---

'Was there anyone else involved in the accident?' he asked dad, hoping he'll get a useful answer. He didn't want his father to know why, he didn't want to trouble him. Not when he was just getting back on his feet. It's been a long time since their mom's death, and this is the first serious attempt to move on he had done.
'Not that I can remember. And I can't remember much.'
Andrew looked around their house. The place had changed. He bought some things, and it looked like he planned to do work at home as well. They sat and talked.
'What are all these for?' Andrew wondered.
'I'm trying to paint some things. I've got this friend, he gave me the idea. And I said why not? It'll give me something to do. So I'll give it a shot.'
'That's great. I'm really glad you have a preoccupation. You needed one.'
His son was sad, and he could see that. Bernard made the decision:
'Listen, son. I've been waiting to tell you this for quite some time: you can live on your own now. I think you should. You've been the best child I could ask for, but you need to move on. I'm much better, as you see, and I can handle living alone from now on.'
'Can I really?' Andrew had waited for this, somehow. He wished to move away, and he could come see his father at anytime. Maybe he'd move in with his sister and Susan for a while, he liked the idea.
'Of course! I'll be alright. I can even help you pack, when you're ready.'
'I'll let you know', spoke Andrew.
He thought he'll ask Lilith to share her room. 'What a great idea', he told himself; he felt this way he could spend more time with Susan. With school and his father, he wasn't able to meet her that often. Maybe this way he could be there when she was depressed, and he could help Susan get over her loss.
'Dad... Thanks!'

---
TO BE CONTINUED...



What do you think about this part of [The beggar]?
Love it, made me curious!
I'll probably wanna see what happens next.
I think you were too succint, the story seems rushed.
Vaguely interesting.
You haven't made me curious at all!
It's kind of silly. I don't like it...
A different answer: good opinion.
A different answer: bad opinion.
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Sink into it! (expand)

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

[The beggar] Part four

Part one
Part two
Part three
Part four
Part five
Part six
Behind the scenes!
---
* * * Part four * * *

The next morning Andrew was at the lake, with his dad.
'I want to ask you something. Here, look at this picture; do you know the guy?'
'I think I saw him before. But I remember he died in that accident, a couple of weeks ago', his father told him.
'Well... how do you know? You've seen him in the papers?', he asked, hopingly.
'Ahm, no. It wasn't in the news. I was there', spoke dad.
'Weren't you here? I was just going to meet you at the lake, when it happened, remember?'
'Of course, I remember. I was nearly killed too. All of a sudden someone pushed me out of the way. That was some accident...'
'Why didn't you tell me earlier, that you were almost killed?', he was a little upset.
'Because... I didn't want you to worry for nothing. I want you to be happy, you know. And I appreciate all this time you spent here with me, instead of moving away..."
He felt how real his father's care for him was. Inside him was now a warm, cozy feeling. 'There was still hope. It was worth it. I didn't stay with him for nothing. He really cares...' Andrew was no more upset, he felt appreciated, finally, by someone...

'Where have you been? We were supposed to meet at five, I was waiting for you... You got me worried. I thought you went in search for my father, instead of coming with nothing.', Susan told him, earnestly.
'I've got something interesting. I'm sorry I'm late, I just had a great time with my father. Wonderful, actually! He was much better than he usually is.'
Although he had spent more and more time with Susan for the past few weeks, he did meet his father every now and then. He could see he was changing, slightly. The talk he just had proved his suspicion. When he asked his father what lifted his moods, he told Andrew something about a beggar, poor guy who he had met during his job. That was the last thing they talked about, but then Andrew looked at the time and realized he was late. He ran back here, hoping she was still waiting.
'I've been waiting at this entrance for almost two hours.'
'I'm sorry. But I hope you'll forgive me, because, you see, I rarely have the chance to talk to my father like that. Time just ... flew by. I didn't realize it until the sun was really down... So, can we still go in?'
Forgive him? He was really nice, she thought. 'I've met nice boys before, but they never made me feel like this. And, judging by his breath, he really did run to meet me. He might actually think something of me. So, what's there to forgive?'
'Sure. But let's eat something, too. I'm a bit hungry with all this waiting...'
'Great! My treat. I'll tell you what my dad was like...'

So they ate, and talked, and she seemed livelier than usual. He might be able to ask her more, this time. She might accept his offer to help. She might get to like him, he thought. Time passed, as he told Susan what his father saw, what was he like, how great their time together was today. As he spoke, she realized how caring Andrew had to be, to spend time with his father like that, not leave him, nor push him in any manner. He was curious about the accident too, and his father told him things she didn't know about. For the first time in her life, she blushed easily at the thought of a boy being interested in her, and blushed even more when she thought he might have seen her. 'My God, things are happening really fast in my head. I mustn't hope too much. Even for a first love, I want to be certain', Susan told herself.
'Do you think you can tell me about the accident, and why you said it's not accidental?'
She pondered. Should she tell him? Why get anyone else involved? Wasn't it bad enough that she, Susan refused to let it go, when she should move on?
'I want to help you. Honestly.' he spoke again
'Okay, but this is a long story. We better get some more tea and biscuits.'

As Andrew went to the buffet, she couldn't figure out why she had said yes. Did she really want him in on this? But what's done is done. So he should know.... She knew, she felt he can understand. He can be with her. She might get over it, this way...
'No, I can't tell you everything yet. But I'll tell you some things', she spoke.
'Okay. First, how did you know about the accident before we did, that day?'
'I had found this note, from my dad.'
She pulled out a piece of paper, written by her dad. Mum was stuck under a car whose driver had lost control and crashed. It seems he was struggling to get her mother out of the way of the incoming truck, and left a note in case he didn't make it. There were few words written, but they were from the heart. He loved her more than anything, he said, and he'll never leave her unless it was called for.
'Seems like it was called for', Susan said, almost crying.
'So how'd you find it?'
'It was right there. I heard the explosion from the park, so I ran and saw this note flying through the air, hit me right in the face. It was moist, that's why it hadn't burnt, I guess.'
Andrew thought this was more than unusual, but he also saw the deep sadness in her eyes. After all, the girl lost her parents. And it seemed they had both died trying to save his father. Were there more people saved, not only him? That, he should ask his dad about. Maybe he remembers. Susan agreed with him.
'I hope you won't get caught into this. I don't want to make my parents' death a big deal for any other human being. I don't want to make people suffer.'
She was really hurt. And she had why...
'Really. Don't worry about it.', his heart was beating faster, 'I'm doing this for you, so you can move on. You deserve to...' he blushed.
There was a moment of silence. Susan couldn't say more, she just smiled, sincerely. She was afraid, and she was sad. She didn't want to think about anything anymore.
'Can you take me home, please? I'm too sad already. I'm sorry...'
'Don't be. You'll be alright.'

They walked together. The moon was shining beautifully this evening.
Maybe on an evening like this they will go out again, thought Andrew. Until then, he should talk to his father again.

---
TO BE CONTINUED...



What do you think about this part of [The beggar]?
Love it, made me curious!
I'll probably wanna see what happens next.
I think you were too succint, the story seems rushed.
Vaguely interesting.
You haven't made me curious at all!
It's kind of silly. I don't like it...
A different answer: good opinion.
A different answer: bad opinion.
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Sink into it! (expand)

Sunday, May 07, 2006

[The beggar] Part three

Part one
Part two
Part three
Part four
Part five
Part six
Behind the scenes!
---
Part three

His life is certainly a big change now, compared to his past... He didn't feel things like this before. But he wished to...
'What can I do?' he wondered. Indeed, what could he do different?
When he was younger, his sister moved away, to live on her own. She asked him to come with her, but he wouldn't, he couldn't...
Andrew wanted to stay with his father. He couldn't leave him alone, since their mother died. But his dad was so boring! He couldn't believe it: his father had changed so much. They didn't go out anymore, and all he did at home was either stare into the screen of the television set, or go fishing. He always asked Andrew to join him, but it was too early - six in the morning. Andrew wasn't the early type, so they made a deal: his dad was supposed to pick a spot by the lake, set up everything, and he would join him at nine o'clock sharp.
But Andrew didn't like fishing, but he loved his father very much. 'At least this way I spend time with him. And he is a better company...' Somehow, he could see his father live, and the face he'd show when they got a "big one" was memorable: it was like the grain of hope that kept his dad alive. Why was he like this? Why couldn't he move on? Was mom so much for him that he couldn't live a life now? There were so many questions Andrew hadn't the answers for. But he tried, desperately asking his father every few days, to no avail. All he could get was 'but I'm living, son. Look, I'm here with you, I'm happy. Trust me, I'm alright.' And what could he reply to that? How can a son declare to his father that he's lying to himself? So he capitulated.
Andrew was a very loving person. He had a lot to give and few to give it to... He aspired to become a guide, of some sort - the idea of working closely with people, trying to arouse their interest and telling them stories seemed to enlighten his spirit. Besides, that way he could meet people, too.
He felt wrong for this world, in most ways... he hadn't found how nor where to express himself freely. 'What is freedom, actually?' he thought. He didn't feel free, although he wasn't restrained from anything, in any manner. If he could at least find someone to share his ideas with, that would make things better! Until then, he decided to read, ant think. Even during the times he spent with his father, he did so. He later thought he could become a teacher. But, aside from his sister, he didn't have that much experience of working with people.
After classes, they went to Lilith's place to do their homework. He helped her in literature and math, and she helped him in foreign languages and biology. They loved working together. Lilith always asked him to come live with her. She had a job, she could pay all the rent. But he refused.
'At least I don't wanna leave my father alone. I'm concerned for him...'
She sympathized, but she didn't feel the same. She thought people should always go on with their lives, or at least not live alone, not when the world was so big, and open to everybody. Andrew was her best friend, and the most wonderful brother she could ask for, so she respected his decision.
'I'll get a job and move in with you, in a couple of years. You have my word.'
And then they turned eighteen. And he met this girl, in the park, and brought her to Lilith's place.
Somehow Andrew seemed to lighten up. He seemed to be more excited, enthusiastic. Lilith thought he was in love.
'Are you?' she dared to ask one day.
'I don't know. How can you tell? My life is different since she's been along, it's true, but I don't know what else... What makes love... love?'
And then they paused.
'I don't know either. I guess it's when the world changes with you, somehow. I've only read about it...'
So they did not know what love was. But Andrew could feel Susan's warm heart. He knew even before she'd tell him that she was a loving person. He didn't know what he was feeling, but he hoped it was what he thought. He wanted it to be...

They were in his sister's apartment. After Susan told him the story about her life, Andrew told her his own. His father was a tram driver, just like hers. Wasn't that a strange coincidence? Maybe his father could know hers, and maybe he could know more about the accident. After all, it was in the area where they both worked that the accident took place, even on a tram line. 'Do you have a picture of your dad?' he asked.
'Sure. Why?'
'Maybe my father could know him. I don't know what good that will do, but it's worth a shot, isn't it?'
'Of course', she said hopingly, 'Why not?'
'I'll ask him tomorrow.'
His heart poundered. 'Listen... if he tells me anything useful, would you like to talk about it over some tea and biscuits in Stanley's place?'
'I'd like that, really. Thanks, you've done so much for me...', she didn't know what more to say. She hoped he didn't see her soft trembling. 'Could he feel something for me too?'
'Maybe she'd be more relaxed if we went somewhere.' he thought. He also was shaking, so he quickly sat on the couch...

---
TO BE CONTINUED...



What do you think about this part of [The beggar]?
Love it, made me curious!
I'll probably wanna see what happens next.
I think you were too succint, the story seems rushed.
Vaguely interesting.
You haven't made me curious at all!
It's kind of silly. I don't like it...
A different answer: good opinion.
A different answer: bad opinion.
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Sink into it! (expand)

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

[The beggar] Part two

Part one
Part two
Part three
Part four
Part five
Part six
Behind the scenes!
---
* * * Part two * * *

Susan was born when her parents were both eighteen. 'Life turned us towards love, and the love we shared blessed us with you. We'll always be there to protect you, just as we have been protected by God Himself, through love.' her parents said when she was little. She would never forget that, because, when she heard it the first time, it was like a glimpse of heaven. Even now, she encouraged herself, thinking: 'After all, love gives us hope. And hope is what makes every human being get up in the morning'
Life was good. It was great, in fact, and the more time passed, the more certain Susan was that happiness lasts forever.
There was a beautiful sunshine that day, and the feeling of waking up near her parents was marvelous. Her father was a tram driver, and he loved his job enormously. Her mom was a waitress, but, whatever one might think, they lived in a unimaginable happiness. Her folks said it was through love. They said everything in their lives was written with love.
Susan's family lived in a small flat, in Point Place, near the park. Her parents spent a lot of time with each other, talking about things unkown to her, at the time. But she was not curious - she knew that, if she were supposed to know, she'd be told about it. So years went by, and Susan grew up a beautiful, kindhearted girl, with the love inherited from her parents in her. She came to believe much of her parents' philosophy, such as the certainty of happiness, and belief in the power of sharing. Although her life was becoming increasingly busy, with boys being attracted to her, or girls envying her looks, or school getting more and more difficult, she did not feel any of this - she remained a child, her heart untouched. Until one day...
When she was sixteen, Susan's parents mentioned she has to learn something very important about their lives. 'What could it be?' she couldn't wait.

'Sweetheart, I want to speak to you about the world. See, I believe we can change it. And what I mean by that isn't concerning just us, as a family, but the entire human race. It's a cold world out there, without feelings. And, see, people have taken a lot of time to understand that feelings alone can't be a way of measuring and understanding things as they are. It made the world think that man is a rational being - which was never more wrong. I want to explain why I am who I am, and how does this world work. Listen to what I and your mom have to tell you' he said.
'I'm all ears, dad.'
'As a drop of water in the ocean creates circles, that run away, faster and faster, and shake the whole surface, even by a bit, love from one person spreads around into wonderful waves of happiness and warmth. Your father and I have never thought, before we met, that love could change that much. Each day, after work, we take long walks into the city, and looking for the right moments to help. Both of us have learned, the hard way, that help is not to be given with force - it must be asked for. Therefore, we search for any soul asking for help can, any heart wandering without end. We've been doing this since you were born, and we believe it has something to do with you.' said mom.
'Our lives have changed since you were born. And they are based, ever since, on what we feel, not think. We've never restricted you from anything, and yet you have never had a serious problem to discuss with us, you have never slipped your way, and you have been as freely raised as a daughter can be. We've never tried to force you into anything, but you were happy with everything about your folks', said that, anxiously.
'Yes, I was. I am!' she confirmed.
'I feel the world, and the world feels me. And what I feel inside made me lead a life this way. After a while of taking these walks, your mother and I started to notice some changes. Firstly, the newspapers kept talking about us, calling us "the people always at the right time". Everyone seemed to smile at us, knowing and admiring that we did not ask for anything, but given help. It's hard to describe, der, but what I feel when I'm out there is always connected to love, and to you. I see your mother's smile, full of innocence and happiness, and I cannot withhold from doing that myself. And then I see the world. I see my neighbor, returning my smile. For years after you were born, we have wondered what makes our look different from any other. I always thought "Why didn't people return smiles like that to each other, but always to us?". Was it because we were in love? But weren't they? If so, why? And how come?'
'It took some years of adventure, really', her mother said, 'but during this time, our love always grew. I stood at home with you, while you were little, and when your father came home we always had a wonderful dinner and then we took you to the park, remember?'
'Yeah', she whispered, thinking back 'tell me what you mean by all this, please', she was increasingly anxious.
'And after that, I took you from school, your father took you home, and in the evening we were all together. It is said that ignorance is blessing, and maybe that was true for us. We did not know much about the world when we met. We felt we want a place in it, and that - most importantly - we wanted the world to be happy when we were happy, why weren't they all happy? Whenever we asked, we got these scarce responses, like "My career is going down the drain", "I hate my life", "I hate my friends", "Nothing works out the way I want it to be". And what could I understand? What makes people sad? We had long talks with people, and they always told us we should become psychologists, or therapists, or something. What we always told them was this:
If the past doesn't satisfy you, if it empovers you, forget it. Go on without the past. Build a new life to believe in. Focus on what you want, and that will give you strength to succeed.' mom said.
'And after that they usually asked what makes us do this, talk to them, help them... And we didn't know why, we felt it. But if we stop to think of that, we'll never get to actually do it, I always told them. I guess we want to make a difference, in a way. Your mother and I believe that there's room for change in this world, and that people are only meant to help people, not themselves. Whenever they try to do something for themselves only, they tend to fail...'
Susan felt this. It was beginning to get interesting...
'Kids don't ever have a past. That's why they're so happy. And they get what they want. Whenever something bad happens, it just hits them without a harm - they are protected. By parents? Perhaps. By happiness? Quite possibly. By love? Certainly.' said mother.
'Some people may be inventors, some repairmen, some secretaries, scientists, artists, sailors... but every single one of them works not only for himself, but for others as well. We believe just a little change in ourselves can bring a little change in the world, too. Just as...'
'As a drop of water in the ocean creates circles, that run away, faster and faster, and shake the whole surface', Susan said.
'Great, you understand!' said both parents enthusiastically.
'Certainly. And it's so nice!'
'But, be careful, dear, because, however ready you might be for the world, the world might not be ready for you. You always have to wait, and be there, whenever needed. Because, as you cannot expect someone to listen while he's sleeping, and wait for that one to wake up, so you must wait for the world to embrace your presence. Your will never be unneeded if the world thinks you are. And the world is in need for more love...' father said.

'What a long evening that was!' thought Susan to herself. Her parents told her about the difficulty of being recognized and appreciated for what you really are, and the often case of being loved after you are gone from this world. She felt the world - a cold place in appearance, but always ready for love. 'Just like grass', she thought. She loved the grass. She couldn't tell why, but she loved to lie down and pretend to hug it, and somehow felt she was being hugged back. 'Although you couldn't see any love, it's there'. So, they told her more about their beliefs, their hopes, their dreams - and none seemed impossible to her. She loved every bit, and wished to carry on her parents' doings. What her parents didn't know was that she had written down all she could remember, since that day.

After a month or so, she told all this to Andrew.
'And where's that notebook now?', he asked.
'I lost it, about a month ago', Susan cried.
'It's okay. Please, don't cry. I don't want to see you upset, I hate it when people are sad; my father is, all the time.', worried Andrew.
She felt comforted. He sighed: 'But what about the accident?' he wondered. He couldn't ask her now, not while she was like this. He had to wait, he just had to wait. She promised to tell him.

---
TO BE CONTINUED...




What do you think about this part of [The beggar]?
Love it, made me curious!
I'll probably wanna see what happens next.
I think you were too succint, the story seems rushed.
Vaguely interesting.
You haven't made me curious at all!
It's kind of silly. I don't like it...
A different answer: good opinion.
A different answer: bad opinion.
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Sink into it! (expand)

Sunday, April 30, 2006

[The beggar] Part one

This is a scratch of a short story I'm about to write. It will make sense later, I promise. But if it makes you curious, let me know. Part two is to come in a few days...

Part one
Part two
Part three
Part four
Part five
Part six
Behind the scenes!
Prologue
Yesterday, my neighbor died. The official authorities said I can look around his home, and keep anything I would find, since there were no alive relatives found who could take care of the funeral and his left properties... not that there was much to be taken care of.
I went in. The air had the kind of "nobody's lived here for ages" smell. I could tell not even he lived here much. It was a flat. And his flat had only one room, except for the small bathroom. It was the only one of its kind in the building. I remember a long time ago, the owner decided to let him stay in this place - formerly the janitor's - for a small fee, since everyone living in this building were such clean working people.
I never knew much of this guy, but, when I came into his room, I had a strange sense I've been there before. In a past life, maybe? There was not much of it - it was not the common disorder, objects lying around, food, a fridge, not anything you'd expect to find in a home right after its inhabitant died. I looked around and saw a notebook. Nothing else caught my interest, so I thought that's the only thing I'll take, and leave.
I walked to the chair in front of me, where the notebook was, I took it, and then I turned around to leave...and I stopped after the first step, if I even got to take one; I stood there in amazement, at first. What I saw that moment changed my life, in a way. I decided to tell the owner I'd buy the place.

---
* * * Part one * * *

'I am here for you, I will always be', Andrew said. Just think about it: yesterday he wanted to go fishing, and he met this amazing girl on the way to the lake. How lucky! How would he have known an accident was about to happen on that lake? Will he had survived, then, if he had went? There was no way to know this, and he was aware of it. Besides, he had fallen in love now. There was no reason to ask any questions about the past - he should be happy.
'I mean, look at her', he thought. How lucky! She took his arms and put them around her waist, held him close and whispered: 'I will always be yours.'
Her name was Susan. She didn't even have a place to live until she met him.... After her father warned her, she wandered and found herself lying on this bench in the park. He found her sleeping, on his way to the lake, and she was covered in a thin layer of papers. The headline of one said "Major accident avoided at Point Place". She seemed to have had a rough time, judging by the look of her clothes - almost torn - and her expression.
She had just woken up, when she saw a boy passing by, wearing a funny hat. 'Hello, he said, are you alright?' Yes, she was, but she wanted to be held.
'Could you help me? I'm lost...'
'Sure. You're in Point Place Park, in Tringo. What can I do for you?'
'I need a place to stay, have you any idea where I can rent a room?', she said, dizzy with sleep.
'I have a sister, he said, she's living alone, closeby. Maybe she'll take you in, but you'll have to wash first', he smiled.
'Surely. Can you help me up and take me there?'
He didn't know who she was, or what she was doing there, but something told him she was nice. He wished he'd have a girl like that - with a soft voice, beautiful eyes, and that he could get away from his father's place. He decided to show her his sister's place. He felt a faint sense of admiration for how she were, alone in the park - he thought she was courageus. And she must have had an unusual time lately, to be where she was. He wished for something different in his life, too.

His sister was delighed to have someone to live with. They were both eighteen. Susan promised to get a job as soon as possible, and pay for her share of the rent, if they let her stay, of course.
Lilith decided to let her stay for a week, see how things were, and then talk about a longer period. Andrew thought it was a good idea.
Later that day, they heard an accident happened near the lake. Thank God he hadn't gone! Many people had died. Andrew and Lilith were really shocked.
'Let's go, I wanna see what happened' the sister said.
'Aren't you coming?' Andrew looked at the new girl.
'No. I know what it's about...'

He wanted to tell her he was grateful too. He wanted her to know how much she meant to him, and that she accidentally saved his life.
'It wasn't accidentally. Nothing ever is, in my life.' And she started crying...

And the story went on. Thus, in short time, she got a nice job, and contributed to the place a lot, his sister told him. And he would come to visit. He always asked her about the accident, but she did not want to talk. 'Not yet', she would say. 'Not until after I get some things done.'

A month after the accident she called him over.
'I have something very important to tell you. Listen to me, and then you'll tell me what we can do...'

After he heard the story he knew why she had that feeling when they met.
'I am here for you, I will always be', he said.

---
TO BE CONTINUED...





What do you think about this part of [The beggar]?
Love it, made me curious!
I'll probably wanna see what happens next.
I think you were too succint, the story seems rushed.
Vaguely interesting.
You haven't made me curious at all!
It's kind of silly. I don't like it...
A different answer: good opinion.
A different answer: bad opinion.
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Sink into it! (expand)