Sometimes

Sometimes, every touch is too much. Sometimes, anything you do just gets things more and more complicated. When losing yourself in trying to do what's best, when forgetting how important it is to live your life, when asking for too much from too many people, that's sometimes.
Sometimes is everything and sometimes is all the time...

Sometimes I was in Romania and at this time of the day I was getting ready. For what? To go "sa luam lumina" ([RO] "to be enlightened"), with family. Sometimes, I took the SATs and called the dearest person in the world right after, to reveal the news. "How was it? How was it?"...
Sometimes I cry when I should laugh. Or smile.
Sometimes I'm sad when I should be happy.
Sometimes I'm selfish when I should give.
Sometimes I defend myself from an imaginary attack. Sometimes I imagine I have too many problems, when, in fact, I have none...

Sometimes is everything and sometimes is all the time...

Sometimes I lose it, sometimes I get a grip and hold on 'till it hurts too bad. Sometimes I feel the world has come to an end. Yet sometimes I wake up and life is pink. Pink...ish. Sometimes I write a post at 9:07PM on Saturday, April 07.

Sometimes I fear I'm just not able to defeat my own fears. And sometimes I fear I am.
I live a life, don't I? I live a life for you. And, believe it or not, I want the same things for us. Believe it or not, I wish we'd stop being sad and just be happy; so, so, so happy with what we have. I know you, I really do, and I know that these are just hard times. and we are growing up...
Sometimes I feel we've got too long to go. And then I see you, and for an hour or two I forget what time is. That's when it's never too long.

Sometimes, I forget that living life means living your own. And, of course, most of the times I'm dumb. Or dumbfounded. Hear me now, for, on Easter eve, I find little peace. On Easter eve I miss all there is to miss.

Yet I am not sad. Nor am I discouraged. Why, oh Lord, is that?

Could it be because of you? Have you become so much? I think, I feel you did. My life has changed. My life has stopped and started since that day. And now it's on. And I know who I am, thanks to us. Thanks to you, and thanks to me. And thank God.

On this day, I say to you: Happy Easter. On this day, I find peace, the inner peace that we know. And by this time tomorrow, I'm dreaming of a time of serenity, cause you are "o oaza de lumina" ([RO] an oasis of light) for me. And I, for you. And we shall meet and remember. And feel. And live. There's life to be lived. There's things to be done. There's all I am and all you are...

Sometimes I write poems. Sometimes I write. Sometimes I fall in love. But love doesn't hurt. I might hurt. And for what?

Sometimes you hit your head. "Is it still round?" I ask. You laugh.

Sometimes I see my friends. And, for a moment, I remember it all over again: Why? Why is it worth it? Because... sometimes.

Sometimes it's just too hard. Sometimes the only way out seems like giving up. And, for a moment, I remember it all over again: Why? Why is it worth it? Because... sometimes.

"Here's a riddle for you! Find the answer! There's a reason for the world..."

Sometimes, I see what I do. What I want to do. Sometimes I feel I'll blow up. But then I remember it all over again. Why? Because... sometimes.

Love. Passion. Faith. Hope. Ambition. Will. Strength. Desire. Interest. Belief. All in one... me? Sometimes I lose it. Sometimes I don't. Aren't we all sometimes?

Sometimes is every time. Sometimes is everything. Sometimes is you and me. So, heh, let's be!

"Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right
Be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time"
(Britney Spears - Sometimes)

Sometimes I need someone to hold. You.
Sometimes you want to run away. Sometimes I do, too.
Sometimes I fight: This sometimes is all the time.
Sometimes I do not love: This sometimes is never.
All I really want... I've already got, haven't I?

"Sometimes I don't know if I'll make it
Sometimes I wished I could walk away
Sometimes I don't know if I'll make it through
But you know I'm gonna do it anyway"
(Roger Alan Wade - Sometimes I don't know if I'll make it)

Sometimes I learn, sometimes I forget. Sometimes I listen, sometimes I don't understand. Sometimes I'm here, sometimes I'm there. I can see or I'm just blind. I believe or I give up. Sometimes is happy-sad. Bittersweet. Pink...ish... But "I'm gonna do it anyway"!

His story:

"It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in." (Ricky Fitts, American Beauty)

Mine:
There's no reason to be afraid. Sometimes I am.
There's so much beauty in the world. And so much love... so much feeling in the world...
Sometimes I feel like giving up, but I'm not going to. Because, in the end, sometimes is every time. And I don't want to give up. Don't judge, simply reason: nothing is every time. Nothing is everything. Everything is sometimes (or something, if you will), all the time. And that's just it: believe me or not, don't judge.

Sometimes we are. Sometimes we're... not.
And sometimes all you can do is pray. Hope. Love. Faith.

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now you're my only hope
(Mandy Moore - Only hope)

Sometimes we think we can do it alone. But sometimes we can't. Come here, talk to me. I'm here... I'm listening.
Sometimes, it's better to just let it out... let me hear it, let me hear from you, all of you.
This is my end song...

"Tough, you think you've got the stuff
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough

You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to do it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

We fight all the time
You and I...that's alright
We're the same soul
I don't need...I don't need to hear you say
That if we weren't so alike
You'd like me a whole lot more

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to do it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

I know that we don't talk
I'm sick of it all
Can - you - hear - me - when - I -
Sing, you're the reason I sing
You're the reason why the opera is in me...

Where are we now?
I've still got to let you know
A house still doesn't make a home
Don't leave me here alone...

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
Sometimes you can't make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can't make it on your own"
(U2 - Sometimes you can't make it on your own)

And here I was, thinking that sometimes I won't write about you...