Evelyn: Don't worry about 'why' when 'what' is right in front of you. (The Shape of Things)

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

maybe I thought you weren't like everybody else

He and She. He takes her home. They talk and get ready to part for the evening.
He says, then she, etc:
- i had a really good time tonight
- yeah, i did too!
- here.
- what's that?
- my share of the dinner.


- no, no, no. look, i'm the one who asked you out, and it wouldn't be an official date if i wouldn't pay.
- well how about i flip you for it?
- no, i'm sorry.
- come on, you're afraid you'll lose!
- no, you are unbelievable...
- (joking around) you're terrified, you're shaking.
- oh, alright. heads...
- (flips coin, falls heads) you lose.
- let me see that.
- no.
- let me see that...
- no!
- let me see that!
(grabs coin)
- that's two tails, you cheated!
- no, i didn't. i gave you the option, you chose heads.
- 84% of the time everyone's gonna say heads when asked.
- well maybe i thought you weren't like everybody else.
- maybe you're right. i'll see you.
- i'll raise you.
- what?
- it's just something i used to say to my dad.
- good night.
- good night. sweet dreams.

(movie "All in", 2006)

I won't say anything. I'll just add another quote. But if you'll comment, I'll reply.

"It will have been noticed that, in this philosophy, there reigns an alternative: the encounter may not take place, just as it may take place. Nothing determines, no principle of decision determines this alternative in advance; it is of the order of a game of dice. 'A throw of the dice will never abolish chance.' Indeed! A successful encounter, one that is not brief, but lasts, never guarantees that it will continue to last tomorrow rather than come undone. Just as it might not have taken place, it may no longer take place: 'fortune comes and changes', affirms Borgia, who succeeded at everything until the famous day he was stricken with fever. In other words, nothing guarantees that the reality of the accomplished fact is the guarantee of its durability. Quite the opposite is true: every accomplished fact, even an election, like all the necessity and reason we can derive from it, is only a provisional encounter, and since every encounter is provisional even when it lasts, there is no eternity in the 'laws' of any world or any state. History her is nothing but the permanent revocation of the accomplished fact by another undecipherable fact to be accomplished, without our knowing in advance whether, or when, or how the event that revokes it will come about. Simply, one day new hands will have to be dealt out, and the dice thrown again on the empty table."
- Louis Althusser, "Philosophy of the Encounter"

Question: What if love was this way, what if everything that happens is just... chance?

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Sunday, September 16, 2007

yep, it's official, I'm weird! (un)fortunately so's the world

So...

I've just seen a documentary on aspartame. You wouldn't believe how poisonous human beings can be to their own selves (or, you would, if you were like me). And then comes the phrase "yeah, but it's all business, really", which is why I put this quote up on my blog:

This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasnt the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
- Douglas Adams


I'm sad. Sad... Sometimes I wish I could erase this world with a hand towel or something, and "write" it back.

So, umm, what else... the last few weeks of my life deal with philosophy, CS, dancing, and math circles. Reading, lots and lots of reading, logic, jumping and moving on classical music (:X) and probably soon-to-come midterms. It's good, at least I like what I'm doing very much. And then I keep busy all the time. To be honest, the only part of my life I wish were better is social. But I don't feel so hurried anymore... or, rather, I'm determined to take things as they come, feel as I feel and... just deal with it.

I realized that I really like to cook! :) Which is so cool, because I also like to eat :D
For now I'm just sticking to salads, with all sorts of ingredients, but I'm planning to learn some actual stove stuff soon! I hope.

It's 7:35PM and the sky looks... amazing. It makes me dream, of what's going to be, what's going to happen to the world, to my family, to my friends...
Speaking of family, I think I'm gonna be closer to them for the next couple of years. Being so far, for so long, was just something I had accepted (or thought I did) and then I did not even realize that I'm not actually coming back.

It feels like time just passes by. And I do so much that I want, but I'm missing out on the whole of who I am. I'm always missing out. Gotta go to concerts, rock concerts, or punk, or gothic... and then learn piano, and do math, teach or tutor, do web programming, explore nature and go to Great America, find someone I could get close to again... or have someone close back here...

Shhh. Snap out of it. Back to life. Somehow, along the way of growing up, it's been established (or perceived) that being an adult takes the adventure out of life (maybe that's because I'm not exactly surrounded by adventurous people - not in the all-fun-and-no-work-kinda-way anyhow). And I refuse to accept that! Growing up doesn't mean you lose it all, you can still be crazy and impulsive and have all sorta wishes and dreams and hopes, and you can still wanna meet someone great in the bus or subway, or on the street, or read a book standing upside down in a tree, or, heck, I dunno, just do something unusual cause you damn well feel like it. As disney's "The spectrum song" says: "What ever happened to the plain old dilly-dilly-dilly-dilly... dilly..."

Sometimes when I meet someone and he/she's so different from me (yep, pretty often), and I hear things from that person, that he/she likes, or does, I always, somehow, understand, or feel, have felt, lived, believed, thought that too,... and, as long as it's still part of me, I can always say "I know what you mean", or "so do I". And, like someone very dear to me once said she's been told, "you seem over 40". I'm not exactly the same way, but, at least at this point, I feel that way. Like no matter how different from me that person is - no, actually, better: the more that person differs from me, the closer I feel to the him/her.
And to think that all this' been inspired from a friend's phrase: "dude, all your friends are WEIRD!"
YEP! Say hello to the weird me! (new version is long-haired and headbanded, batteries not included ;) )

So, anyway, as I said, I've been upto no good lately - much reading, actually, of Ancient Greek philosophy, and here are a few phrases I've very much enjoyed:

Xenophanes:
- “mortals suppose that the gods are born and have clothes and voices and shapes like heir own”
- “there is one god, among gods and men the greatest, not at all like mortals in body or mind”
- “he sees as a whole, thinks as a whole, and hears as a whole”
- “he moves everything by the thought of his mind”
- “he always remains in the same place, not moving at all”
- “everything comes from earth and returns to earth in the end”
- “no man knows or ever will know the truth about gods and about everything I speak of”

So, the first couple of ones, about the entity of god as a whole fits right in with how I (and probably many of you) feel (or have felt) about this world: it's all one. big. giant. whole. and ALL is GOD, and GOD is ALL, because everything IS, everything is created and therefore creation, and the creator it(or him, if you prefer:P)-self is everywhere, omnipresent and omnipotent.

The "everything comes from earth and returns to earth in the end" part reminds me of this funny little quote:
If my decomposing carcass helps nourish the roots of a juniper tree or the wings of a vulture - that is immortality enough for me. And as much as anyone deserves.
- Edward Abbey


Anyone out there who happens to read any of this crap here and think it's not that bad, just comment, would ya? Even if it's offtopic. I really feel like talking :)

Alright, hope you had a great weekend!
Here's some other links that I've recently read:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood-brain_barrier
http://www.the-scientist.com/news/display/53138/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyclamate
http://www.stevia.net/
http://www.aspartamesafety.com/FAQ.htm
http://www.elmhurst.edu/~chm/vchembook/549acesulfame.html

^_^
|_|
(uhm, nvm)

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Friday, September 14, 2007

I'd rather be

I'd rather be a has been
then a might have been by far,
for a might have been
has never been,
but a has been
was once an Are.

I'd rather be a could be
if I couldn't be an Are,
for a could be is a maybe
with a chance of reaching far.

(unknown author)

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