The next summer, they were on the beach again. M and J. Holding each other. Ah, what it means to believe in love!...
M: You inspire me.
J: I've been told...
M: Modesty. Not your style, huh?
J: You are so foolish... We're all so, so foolish...
M: Forever and a day, you and I...
J: Just you
M: YES!
J: King and queen of the world
M: You make loving fun, fun, fun!
J: I wouldn't mind getting in between the sheets with you...
And they kept spinning and spinning...
Last year:
M: So, what do we do?
J: What do we always do?
M: Fight? he remembered
J: That too, but...
M: I want...
J: To spend a holiday in your arms.
M: To make chocolate cake with you. Do you think we have time?
J: Mmm, chocolate...
M: I've been thinking...
J: Do you realize we've been together four months?
M: That's...
J: So much...
M: Where did they go? he cried.
He was sad.
J: Don't. Please, don't.
M: I don't want to go. I don't want to have to leave, ever. Leave you, leave all of this...
J: You're not leaving me. You're not.
But he wasn't there. His tears were racing down on his cheeks.
J: Please, stop! What's wrong? Please, stop!
M: I can't stop. I can't stop loving you, he tried to smile his way out of it.
J: You don't have to stop. Listen to me, you don't have to... it won't be long before we see each...
He passed out.
Hours later...
M: I'm such a fool.
J: We're all fools...
M: I can't bare it. I can't handle leaving you. I can't...
She took his hands and wrapped them around her waist. She held his head and pressed it on her chest.
J: Listen to this, she said, if you won't listen to me!
His tears disappeared, suddenly. He was there. But, then again, he wasn't there. He was...
Hours later...
J: M, my feet are numb. We've been staying like this for a while... can you let me move, just a bit?
But he didn't reply. She freaked out...
J: M, can you hear me?
She pushed him away and grabbed his face with her palms. No, he wasn't dead... thank God! He was just sleeping.
J: But... but... we're in the...
... park, she was about to say. But what's the use? He was smiling, in his sleep. He fell asleep with a smile...
She didn't want to sleep. She didn't want to close her eyes. She looked up, at the sky, her eyes all a reflection of the thousands of stars out there. He was there, with her...
How could he faint? How could he cry like that? How could the sky be so dark?
Suddenly, without realizing what she was doing, she stood up and stared at him. Time passed. He was there. He was there, with her... and he wasn't going to be there soon. He was going away. Will he come back? Will he still love me?
But their love was... so...
She walked. Slowly, away from him. She was crying now, too, and she started to run. And she ran till her legs couldn't stand it anymore. Her eyes full of tears, her breath horribly rushed, her heart wanting to explode.
J: But he was there, with me... HE WAS THERE!!! she yelled
Then she made a decision. One that would change her whole life...
It was almost morning. She ran for hours. But, finally, she was there: a jewelry shop.
J: Hi.
X: Hello, can I help you?
J: Yes, I'm here to get an engagement ring. Well, two... For me and my... future...
But she stopped. X could see, she had tears in her eyes.
X: Let me help you. What are you looking for?
J: Just show me what you have.
She knew. That second she knew that just by seeing them, she would know which pair to pick.
But X couldn't help wondering why her face was sad, and why she cried so heavily. She looked tired, worn out, but glowing.
J: Please tell me you know what you're doing!
X: What's that?
J: Oh, she blushed, I was just... talking to myself.
X: Here's what we have. I'd recommend...
But X stopped. Her eyes were glowing, she saw what she was looking for.
J: Blue. How much are these?
When she heard the price, she collapsed on the floor.
J: How on Earth could I afford that?
She was hearing voices. She was in doubt. She was... thinking of him.
J: I need them tonight. Now. Is there any conceivable way that I can pay for them later?
Probably all her life.
X looked at her. Couldn't possibly do this to the girl, couldn't say no.
X: Okay, here's how it is. You give me what you have now, and leave me your ID. Then you can pay the rest some other day, but soon.
J: Okay, she thought.
Maybe he wouldn't take it and she'll just bring it back... but no, she mustn't think like that. Today, now, she will get to him. And they will say those words...
X: There you go.
J: Here's my ID.
X: You have a great day, okay? And try smiling sometime.
J: Thank you, and there was a faint trace of one.
He woke up.
M: Where is she? to himself
She had never left him before. And he was cold, he was tired, he was... leaving in two days.
M: Excuse me, sir, what time is it? he asked a stranger
But then, he saw her, and forgot to hear the answer to his question. She was running. So was he.
J: You. We need to talk.
He could see - she cried all night.
J: We have to...
She took a deep breath.
One day, one time, there was a he and a she. They were in love. And he was leaving, but not for good. That day, he promised her that he'll be with her again, soon, so, so soon. And what's a couple of years when you compare them with a lifetime of togetherness?
Nothing.
That moment, something got into her. She wanted to do this, and she wanted to do it right, and funny, and lovely like he made her feel. He told her she was beautiful, everyday, and sometimes she felt it was too often, but never dared to tell him.
She called him baby, everyday, and sometimes he felt it was too often, but never dared to tell her.
She took off her jacket and laid it in front of her. She knelt down, and pulled out a small little box from her back pocket.
J: I think I have to ask you something.
He was stunned. He was... smiling. For the first time in a long time.
M: I think I want to hear you out, he almost whispered.
J: It took just four months for me to know. Sometimes, when I think of you, I see a house, a dream, a life, the magic place I want to spend my life in. I walk into that house, and it's you. It's all you. You're the one who built it, you're the one who made it come to life. It's your heart - my house. And I feel at home in there. And I'm here, today, kneeling on a jacket in front of you, to ask you this...
his mouth was open...
J: Will you, M, marry me?
That night:
J: Sometimes, the answer is in the sky... but there's no stars up there without you next to me. You're taking all the stars.
That day, very late, he took her home. Then, he went to the jewelry store - the one they both knew, the one she must have visited.
M: That should cover it. And, please, when she comes here, just give her this...
A cube.
On the front face, there were two giraffes, holding hands, staring at each other, and a big "YES!" right between them.
M: ... oh, and, please, show it to her this face first!
And he walked away, thinking he'll see her again, soon, and thinking of her goodbye words: You inspire me...
When she woke up there was a chocolate cake on her bed. Her name was spelled with whipped cream, and under it there was a phrase: "Forever and a day, you and I"
Find all LSS here
Monday, April 30, 2007
[Long story short] Four
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Sometimes
Sometimes, every touch is too much. Sometimes, anything you do just gets things more and more complicated. When losing yourself in trying to do what's best, when forgetting how important it is to live your life, when asking for too much from too many people, that's sometimes.
Sometimes is everything and sometimes is all the time...
Sometimes I was in Romania and at this time of the day I was getting ready. For what? To go "sa luam lumina" ([RO] "to be enlightened"), with family. Sometimes, I took the SATs and called the dearest person in the world right after, to reveal the news. "How was it? How was it?"...
Sometimes I cry when I should laugh. Or smile.
Sometimes I'm sad when I should be happy.
Sometimes I'm selfish when I should give.
Sometimes I defend myself from an imaginary attack. Sometimes I imagine I have too many problems, when, in fact, I have none...
Sometimes is everything and sometimes is all the time...
Sometimes I lose it, sometimes I get a grip and hold on 'till it hurts too bad. Sometimes I feel the world has come to an end. Yet sometimes I wake up and life is pink. Pink...ish. Sometimes I write a post at 9:07PM on Saturday, April 07.
Sometimes I fear I'm just not able to defeat my own fears. And sometimes I fear I am.
I live a life, don't I? I live a life for you. And, believe it or not, I want the same things for us. Believe it or not, I wish we'd stop being sad and just be happy; so, so, so happy with what we have. I know you, I really do, and I know that these are just hard times. and we are growing up...
Sometimes I feel we've got too long to go. And then I see you, and for an hour or two I forget what time is. That's when it's never too long.
Sometimes, I forget that living life means living your own. And, of course, most of the times I'm dumb. Or dumbfounded. Hear me now, for, on Easter eve, I find little peace. On Easter eve I miss all there is to miss.
Yet I am not sad. Nor am I discouraged. Why, oh Lord, is that?
Could it be because of you? Have you become so much? I think, I feel you did. My life has changed. My life has stopped and started since that day. And now it's on. And I know who I am, thanks to us. Thanks to you, and thanks to me. And thank God.
On this day, I say to you: Happy Easter. On this day, I find peace, the inner peace that we know. And by this time tomorrow, I'm dreaming of a time of serenity, cause you are "o oaza de lumina" ([RO] an oasis of light) for me. And I, for you. And we shall meet and remember. And feel. And live. There's life to be lived. There's things to be done. There's all I am and all you are...
Sometimes I write poems. Sometimes I write. Sometimes I fall in love. But love doesn't hurt. I might hurt. And for what?
Sometimes you hit your head. "Is it still round?" I ask. You laugh.
Sometimes I see my friends. And, for a moment, I remember it all over again: Why? Why is it worth it? Because... sometimes.
Sometimes it's just too hard. Sometimes the only way out seems like giving up. And, for a moment, I remember it all over again: Why? Why is it worth it? Because... sometimes.
"Here's a riddle for you! Find the answer! There's a reason for the world..."
Sometimes, I see what I do. What I want to do. Sometimes I feel I'll blow up. But then I remember it all over again. Why? Because... sometimes.
Love. Passion. Faith. Hope. Ambition. Will. Strength. Desire. Interest. Belief. All in one... me? Sometimes I lose it. Sometimes I don't. Aren't we all sometimes?
Sometimes is every time. Sometimes is everything. Sometimes is you and me. So, heh, let's be!"Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right
Be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time"
(Britney Spears - Sometimes)
Sometimes I need someone to hold. You.
Sometimes you want to run away. Sometimes I do, too.
Sometimes I fight: This sometimes is all the time.
Sometimes I do not love: This sometimes is never.
All I really want... I've already got, haven't I?"Sometimes I don't know if I'll make it
Sometimes I learn, sometimes I forget. Sometimes I listen, sometimes I don't understand. Sometimes I'm here, sometimes I'm there. I can see or I'm just blind. I believe or I give up. Sometimes is happy-sad. Bittersweet. Pink...ish... But "I'm gonna do it anyway"!
Sometimes I wished I could walk away
Sometimes I don't know if I'll make it through
But you know I'm gonna do it anyway"
(Roger Alan Wade - Sometimes I don't know if I'll make it)
His story:"It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in." (Ricky Fitts, American Beauty)
Mine:
There's no reason to be afraid. Sometimes I am.
There's so much beauty in the world. And so much love... so much feeling in the world...
Sometimes I feel like giving up, but I'm not going to. Because, in the end, sometimes is every time. And I don't want to give up. Don't judge, simply reason: nothing is every time. Nothing is everything. Everything is sometimes (or something, if you will), all the time. And that's just it: believe me or not, don't judge.
Sometimes we are. Sometimes we're... not.
And sometimes all you can do is pray. Hope. Love. Faith.So I lay my head back down
Sometimes we think we can do it alone. But sometimes we can't. Come here, talk to me. I'm here... I'm listening.
And I lift my hands
and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now you're my only hope
(Mandy Moore - Only hope)
Sometimes, it's better to just let it out... let me hear it, let me hear from you, all of you.
This is my end song..."Tough, you think you've got the stuff
And here I was, thinking that sometimes I won't write about you...
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough
You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight
Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to do it alone
And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
We fight all the time
You and I...that's alright
We're the same soul
I don't need...I don't need to hear you say
That if we weren't so alike
You'd like me a whole lot more
Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to do it alone
And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
I know that we don't talk
I'm sick of it all
Can - you - hear - me - when - I -
Sing, you're the reason I sing
You're the reason why the opera is in me...
Where are we now?
I've still got to let you know
A house still doesn't make a home
Don't leave me here alone...
And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
Sometimes you can't make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can't make it on your own"
(U2 - Sometimes you can't make it on your own)
Monday, April 02, 2007
CrazYly
Starting today, I wanna try a crazy wacky thing each day. And for those who really care, don't worry, it won't imply risking my life in any way, or doing "something bad", I swear, I'll be good and careful! :)
If you've got ideas or suggestions, or just wanna tell stuff that you tried on your own, you're welcome to join me!
In the spirit of adventure, no?...
Warm wishez!
Oh, and, I'll post a story soon... It's waiting to come out of me.
